Wednesday, April 28, 2010

when i was a school student

when i was in school
i have lots of friends
they are my best friends
all of them... not miss out any one of em
five years have gone so fast
now i miss my school time
my friends, all of them
they used to tease me
but it s ok
coz i enjoyed having them
time passes, and i miss them...
i m nothing like anybody
i m silence but talkative
i m shy but daring
it s all because of my friends
i miss them damn much
i would neva forget
how i used to enjoy my lifetime
it s all in school
and now i miss it
my friends are everywhere right now...
in egypt, indonesia and australia
soon, it s my turn to fly off malaysia
and leave my school so far away
but, how i could put this into words
that my school is such a memorable place
the more i look at the pictures
the clearer the view i visualise
yes, i agree with them
i hate rules, i hate regulation
but that makes so much things in my life
even until now, i could remember their FULL names
i dun wanna cheat,
not all of them, but of coz most of you friends....
i dedicate this short notes
to all my 0307 SMSD friends
just would to make a notice
of how my heart really want to feel the circumstances again
of schooling with u all......

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Live life to the fullest while u can. Go out and experience everything as long as it does not kill u or hurt others in the process. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird and enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. Don't try to be a perfect human being. Just try to be as excellent an example of being human as u can.......

(miss goh)


i agree with her, and i m absolutely feeling good bout myself.... then now, i noe, wat i do is not a guilt, but an experience...thanx to my beloved lecturer

credit to mohd farhan abu bakar

guys, take a look on z@m@n Skoloh album made by one of my friends. Wish to give LIKE symbol on each picture, but, not afford it...too many photos.... and they really make me smile, happy and miss the school time... where everybody so naive, and enjoy living now... so damn different from this days life, busy with work, and study stuffs....

frens, i wonder how would u feeling of my present, but event i m not on most of the picture, but i could feel the belongingness... i could feel how my friends there miss me and appreciate me as their friend. i hope so....

it s me, i dun like attention, i prefer being alone and feel unease with the crowd... but, deep in my heart, i love u all. i shut my mouth, but i still love u...... those five years are so memorable to be forgotten....

someday, i wish i could see u all and analyse the different.... wat a life.... 20 years had gone so fast... neva noe, how long would i live, but i m sure, i m learning and experiencing all the timee....

such sweet memories 0307... :))

Friday, April 23, 2010

AKU

aku memang macam ni....
xmampu nk berpidato, berbahas atau ape sahaja yang melibatkan pandangan
pemikiranku pasti kalah
sebb itu aku selesa bekerja sendiri
selesa digelar tidak berkawan.....

semacam mengenali aku...
memahami aku konon
menyayangi aku agaknya...
tp, mengapa sekarang baru mahu muncul diri?
mengapa sekarang br kau ertikan rase kasih?
perbuatan aku salah??
tp, pernah kau terfikir mengapa aku menjadi sebegitu???
pernahkah terlintas di fikiran kau untuk menyalahkan diri sendiri??
kerana tidak cukup menatangku???

"i ve grown bigger enough to decide my destiny" mungkin ungkapan yang menyulitkan....
tp, aku sedar..
aku begitu terdidik dengan pengalaman walau x mampu melawan pengalaman mu

aku punya hati,
punya pendapat sendiri,
punya keinginan
punya perasaan dan cita-cita....
aku hanya ingin mengungkapkan
mungkin secara praktikal agak mustahil....
jadi aku gantikan pena sebagai suara ku...
hanya di maya itulah impian ku....
aku merayu...
tolonglah jangan terjun ke dalam konklusi yang "sumpah demi allah" tak pernah terlinats di hatiku....

aku remaja, saat ini, hatiku berbunga-bunga untuk cinta...
dan aku pasti, manusia seusiaku sepanjang hayat mereka juga berperasaan seperti ku....
begitu ingin memiliki pasangan, begitu ingin diberi kasih sayang
tapi aku hairan, mengapa tatkala aku meluahkan ada yang mempertikaikan....

aku punya rancangan hidupku sendiri....
aku ada hala tuju, impian dan perancangan hidup
perlukah aku ceritakan semuanya pada mereka
sedangkan itu hidup aku.... dan sudah pasti, tiada manusia yang mahu sengsara, begitu juga aku
mengapa mempertikaikan cita-citaku....

aku.. sedih saat ni.... hatiku... pedih sekali
aku sedang mencari jawapan...
mengapa keistimewaan yang kau cipta bukan padaku, tp kau mampu berikan pada org lain..

aku jujur mengatakan. aku kadang-kadang terlalu terbuka, tp salahkah aku berkongsi keinginan ku?? pabila aku diam, kau persendakan aku...

aku kadang-kadang terfikir, bagaimana Ilahi sangat berkuasa menyusun rentak hidupku sebegini.... aku bersyukur... peluang untuk menimba pengalamn sangat terbuka di depan mata.....

tp, salahkah, bila aku nyatakan aku lebih gembira bersama org lain daripada bersama mereka?? bukan ku cipta rasa itu, ia natural.... yang hadir kerana situasi...

aku mohon... kalu kau tidak mampu mendengar keramat suaraku, paling tidak berilah ruang untukku meluahkan... secara baik, mungkin sama-sama boleh perbaiki diri... yakin aku, kau bukannya sempurna, tp mengapa mesti berbicara seperti "aku tidak pernah melakukan dosa". kerana aku juga hambaNya yang hina....

aku takut, madahku ini melukakan sesetengah hati... merosakkan sesetengah ikatan.. biar apa org kata, kali ni yang terluah apa yang selalu bersarang di fikiran....
kalu aku salah, perbetulkan aku... tp dengan cara baik.... tolonglah, aku melutut, jangan menengking atau menyindir, kerana aku sgt mudah terusik.. aku khuatir, aku melakukan sesuatu yang mindaku tak pernah terfikir....
kalu aku kau anggap salah, berilah peluang pada mindamu untuk berfikir, paling kurang "sebab&akibat" bukannya menuduh tanpa unsur periksa....

maafkan aku.. mungkin kau sedar, keratan ini ku tulis buat mu... mungkin aku kasar, mungkin aku bukan seangkatan denganmu.....
tapi, mengertilah aku demi perikemanusiaan.....

semua membaca, siapa2 saja mungkin sedang melihat dan berfikir.... dan, aku percaya, kuasa tuhan ada di mana-mana. dijadikan jalan cerita hidupku sebegini kerana hikmahnya.... sebegitu juga engkau....
ASSALAMUALIKUM W.B.T

Thursday, April 22, 2010

its the end

i use fb coz i think:

i could voice out my feelings
i could ask others opinion
i could find new friends
i could bring harmony to others life
i could experience the world
i could pour my sadness
i could share my happiness
i could be happier
i could be myself
but,
it turns like
there s no more freedom for me
as if there so much weaknesses in me
the world is upside down
i create chaos
i made people uneasy
i tend to be harsh
my feeling is meaningless
my time is out

so,
i wanna stop....
coz i wanna be
i wanna the one that i desire most
and be the one who would neva feel guilty to others....
i m still searching...
i allow myself making mistakes
and i'd repent
yet, somewhere out there
still
a lost
and i cannot afford to notice it
to friends who follow my blogs
thanks so much
wish u would understand
and we are still friends
and anything...
please inform me
through my email
or my skype
or wateva contacts u have

love u all who understand the meaning of understanding witout throwing any wet blankets
pity me,
i m heavily wet
dun made me flood

Monday, April 19, 2010

suddenly i miss my family

baru je smlm sampai dr terengganu... ble aku kat umah, aku rase nak lari kan diri dari sane, tp ble berjauhan hati sgt rindu....

aku mkn sepuas ati mase kat umah, sampai perut buncit mcm ikan buntal... huhuh

tp,
myesal lak, sebb x jamah ikan keli masak lemak cili api yang mk aku buat (sebb perut terlampau kenyang)... hukhukhuk

now, i miss it damn much!!!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

i was shock!!

it is my life...
it has been written, everybody has their own path.. mine?? and yours?? wont surely be d same....

so, dun cry...coz u wont get any worse than anyone else.. u got the privilege...nobody is different... its just d way that differ... then, it remains same...

my mind works hard these few days....
my body is possibly move harsh recently...
but,
my voice still silent frequently...

wat u say bout me, wont effect me much... coz i noe, something dat u dun noe... n i wont have to let u noe.... i m happy being myself...

i wont push for being someone u want....

coz now, i realise, i m happier being myself in me~

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

find the perfect one, and u would find none

a friend of mine makes me write this...

it s the beauty???? some find beauty when looking at the mirror, while others agree to see beauty from different sight.....

wat about me?? i dun think thins are created ugly.... coz, god is very fair and lovely... why must he creates ugliness.....

it is juz how ones view the beauty.... means dat they have different taste and opinion....

after all... this beauty that u are hoping to have would fade one day.... so, nothing is perfect, but nothing is horrible also...

juz have faith in urself that, u r such a beautiful creature in somebody's mind even though another would neva give u a sight.....


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

there is a lil boy


he is so cute, i got d feeling dat he would grow up to become a handsome man...

i like d way he hugs me, tight and close... as if, he neva wants me to leave him alone, nor leaving me alone..

i like d way he responds to me... far from his sight, he has already take his shoes and ready to go.. doesnt seem like wants to stay long.

i like d way he acts to me... he hold my hands as if asking me not to let it go... and pull me to where he wants to go... amuse me with his amazing smile....

more and not less, i like him, how he wants me to make him jump.... by the way he yells to pull him up higher and higher.....

i kind of miss him a lot.... he neva makes trouble to me, but always makes me smiling... how his happiness with me, affect my mother instinct...

even though he is not my son, i could imagine of how i would treat mine one day... as if i m eager to deliver a baby....

how i wish, to hold his soft hand, who owez ask me to guide him...

how beautiful it is to have him in my arms...

sometimes, i was being naughty, thinking to take him away from his mama...

yet, i still cant imagine the feeling with all of these words, as it is so meaningful to me..

i just wish, i could meet him soon, so dat i could feel him cuddling me

it s going crazy...

it disturbs me, every time i look at it, it kills my brain cells,, it s very dangerous, as though every second i need it.... as it getting older, it makes me miserable.... it keep on making problems, worst and worst, i feel depressed.. i am upset, but i cant figure it out..wat to do?? shall i find a new one, or juz continue using this old things...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

live at a broken heart

tinggal ngn hati yang pecah?? mestila luka, terkena serpihan...huhuuhu

sanggup ke? berkorban sebegitu rupa??

haha....
 

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