Thursday, September 30, 2010

some interesting stories need to be shared

almost all of my friends are already gone to oversea, for further study of course.... it was so fun and interesting reading their comments bout the country that they have been.... i felt like it influences me a lil...

i love malaysia. i neva like too cold weather... i cant imagine how might i live in new zealand next year....
i dun think i m ready for that.. time has passed quickly, ad now, it s only 4 to 5 months before departure....

huhu, scared a lil... may god bless me and show me the right path there~

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

the feeling of missing

i thought i oredy can cope with such MISSING feeling, yet now i m suffering...

i miss my dad,my mom and her stall, my family, my cat, my old house, my dirty kitchen, my naughty brothers and my pretty sisters.

wat i miss is the way i can act naturally at home. i dun have to pretend to be nice to anybody i can be myself, my wish almost always granted and i could eat a lot...

i dun have to make up, coz my natural makes me looks beautiful... after all, i just wanna go home..i dun care if they wanna keep nagging at me, coz it s juz the way they are....

i really wanna go home... how much i love my boyfriend i cannot help loving my parents more......

i really3 wana go home!!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

best friends owez make u feel great

but, wat if u dun have any.... like stray cat, u walk alone, eat alone, sleep alone, talk alone, where alone means u in ur life....

and loneliness is nothing to u, coz u have oredy get use to it....when u feel safe walking, eating, sleeping and even talking witout friends...where u can hear a beautiful music in an absolute silent which means noise is a silent!!

event talking to a cat, as if it could understand u make u feel happier than talking to a person who looks entertain but not actually listen... and when u see crowd, u saw a loneliness... that u r so afraid of it, as if u saw a threat coming attacking u~
when u snap pictures of ur not-so-photogenic figures as if u feel awkkward to present in others photos.... u feel safe when nobody around u, even though u r walking along a dark street......

then, u think u should be alone... and let loneliness be ur best friends, coz there s no human whi fit to be such friends......

yet, i dun feel lonely, but i felt like a loner when i am with my friends~

this is ridiculous

it was a very fortunate Tuesday. i woke up early in the morning, went to class but no lecturer. Luckily i brought my silks wit hope to get another customer... i am very lucky, Miss Prema (my lecturer) bought a very beautiful silk that makes her my customer :)

my lucky day continued.the whole morning, perfectly no class... walking under the cloudy sky, i mean it was no so hot, but i m luckier, when someone fetch me wit
h her car....i reached my room earlier and easier....

then, i went for lunch, another lucky day for me. i packed some rice with chicken curry and a lil mustard. i only have to pay 3 ringgit (normally it s rm4) though there were so many people.. thanks to cafe auntie :))

my journey hasnt stop there... i need to take the ordered items from Larkin Perdana (coz i m selling Satinni things) yet i dun have enough money. but i kept walking and walkin with faith.. suddenly i got a call, saying "i have bank in ur money" from my brother.....

it s great u noe.. then i continue walking... i ve got price cut, makes my budget lower... wat a lucky day...

and, thank god, it was my luckiest day eva, though it sounds nothing :))

Monday, September 27, 2010

~my step mom~

it was 11pm of the second night of Hari Raya. Everybody was busy doing respective work since tomorrow we would be having open house. I was sitting between my two elder sisters peeling the potatoes. i could see my brothers were sitting on the stairs watching at us. My mom (i mean my step mother) was sitting right in front of me. we were sitting around a basin of peeled potatoes. suddenly they came out with the origin of our family.

bro: mom, u have children almost once in two years

sis 1: yeah, until i hardly remember everybody's birthday

sis 2: why cant u remember? i do.

bro: lol, just easy.

then, they were counting everybody in the house and remembered their birthday. i thought they were not mentioning my name, coz obviously i m not her biological mother.

to my surprise, she recalled my name, though she couldnt remember my birthday, that's ok

i felt appreciated and i started to realise, that there's no such word of STEP MOM!!!
now, i begin to love her, and miss her and when i hug her, i just wish i could do it longer..... as if she is truly my mother.

p/s: those who still have chances living with ur mom who have u in her womb, u need to noe tha u r so lucky... so, neva let her down, coz even my mom, who didnt deliver me and knew that i m perfectly the daughter of the co-wife, yet he still loves me... and it grows bigger...

i believe i am the luckiest person in the world and she is never a step mom to u with all my heart~

this is weird

it was just 6 hours after i click follow on almost all my friends' blog, but now, i follow none..huhu...wat happen actually

Sunday, September 26, 2010

is it all about feelings???

friendship can neva makes me happy.... i have lost too many friends in my entire life. people said they are good. they even define the meaning of friendship, but they hardly implement it...

i am truly lost my ways, when i need them i was ignored but when they are in need, it s me they are looking for... i dun really bother if they werent there when i was helpless, but later i find out the game of PLAYING a person's feeling... and my heart was really broken.

u noe, sometimes i feel like i am a very mean person...
but those heartless creatures out there owez make me feel better..
i.... am actually a failure in riding a boat of friendship coz i neva catch any BEST friends in my life. i wish i have the strength

i wish i didnt do such stupid act when i had a very best friend before. she was so rich that make me feel inferior of her eventhough she treated me nicely.. when i walked with her, eat with her, sit with her, she really care less about her financial. she spent on me a lot.

unfortunately, there was a beautiful heartless girl. she just used my best friend to cover her heart ache and since i was too naive at the very moment, i gave her chances that kept distance between me and my best friend. i thought they were ok together coz they are both from rich family, but i am totally wrong. this mean girl had a very bad influence on HER. she become notorious and far from me...

i wish i didnt left her that time, so she would know she means a lot to me.. and now, i have lost her forever. my searching for at least a new best friend has neva succeeded. i believe i dun have the strength anymore.......

i hope she will read this, coz i really miss her a lot. i m sory for leaving her alone that time. i felt regretful. but this really teach me a lesson..


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

there is a guy, he talks less, grumbles and complains a lot... he wants everything according to what he wanted it to be..... he even wants me to get married just after i finish my study (i think so)...

but, there is something he carries that make me love him so much.....
yes, he grumbles, but he is a forgiving person.....
when he hates a matter, he would straight away mentioned it that make me feel scare to make mistakes though he doesnt realise his..
i think i know a lot about him, but i have no idea what to tell u about him....
is he handsome?? of course, definitely!!!
he seldom smile, but its his smile that show a rejoice....
he never tell me how much he love me,,, but that doesnt matter as long as i could feel it...
and his heart~ its very fragile, a wrong word confessed could give him pain for the whole life....
yet, i did shout at him sometimes, and it makes me feel so guilty....

day after day, he become more religious person...
he loves to stay tune on OASISastro channel 106 and turns the volume to the loudest....
it is good to listen to the person in the tv recites qoran, but the volume annoyed me...

i owez find ways to tell him how i love him, how i miss him diz moment.... but i cant...coz he neva realise it... coz, he would not be able to do it....

there is so much sin i have had with him, but i know he neva take the matters seriously....
but i miss him, coz i neva get a chance to tell him verbally....

in my heart, i owez think of something like "i wish i would die before him, so that i would not be able to see him suffer from dying, coz i neva have the strenght..."

i just wish right now, that i could have him in front of me right now, so that i could stare at him to the fullest i could..... i just want to spend my sweet and short time with him.....

my man and beloved father.... how i wish u could read this

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


Bismillahi-Rahmanir -Rahim.
Assalamualaikum saudara dan saudari,

Nama saya Mohammad Farid A. Hamid

Ini adalah pengakuan dan pengalaman saya. Setakat ini saya telah
memberitahu kepada kawan-kawan rapat serta saudara-mara rapat sahaja.
harap dengan pengakuan ini, dapatlah pengetahuan ini disampaikan kepada
lebih ramai Muslimin, dan dengan itu juga berkurangan lah beban saya
menyampaikan. InsyaAllah dapat melepaskan diri saya dari tanggungjawap

Pada masa saya berumur 13 tahun, saya telah diserang demam yang amat
sehingga tidak boleh bangun. Kerana kesempitan hidup, saya hanya dapat
makan ubat-ubat yang dibeli dari kedai serta "air badak" pemberian ibu
saya. Setiap malam, saya pasti meracau-racau, saya tidak lalu makan
langsung. Ibu saya mengatakan, mata saya berkaca kerana terlalu panas,
serta selalu meminta air kerana dahaga teramat sangat. Setelah hampir
seminggu saya telantar di katil bujang, ibu saya dapat sedikit wang
membeli betik dan tembikai. Kedua-duanya dipotong-potong dan direndam
air ais untuk saya makan. Setelah saya makan dengan selera terbuka, saya
tertidur nyenyak.

Saya telah bermimpi yang kesemua bumi yang dipijak ini merkah, pecah dan
segala bukit bukau, hutan rimba, belukar, rumah binaan, ranap dipukul
dan gempa. Orang-orang bertempiran lari, serta menjerit-jerit. Yang
anihnya, ada bahagian yang merkah tadi terapung-apung naik ke udara, dan
ada bahagian yang jatuh laju entah kemana, bersama-sama orang-orang yang
diatasnya. Bahagian tanah yang terapung kemudiannya bercantum-cantum
membentuk satu dataran yang sangat luas yang tiada apa pun diatasnya
kecuali air hujan didalam lopak-lopak Saya bersama-sama orang-orang
yang berada di bahagian yang terapung ini berkumpul, sambil tolong
kerana ramai yang cedera, patah tulang serta luka-luka. Sedang saya
membantu mereka yang cedera, seorang yang berjubah putih datang kepada
dan mengatakan, "Bacakan lah ayat-ayat ini kepada air dan berikan minum
sapukan kebahagian yang luka serta patah, InsyaAllah akan sembuh.
lah kepada yang lain" Kemudian diberikan ayat-ayat tersebut seterusnya
orang itu beredar. Kesemua yang selamat nampaknya mengikuti orang itu,
menuju ke satu cahaya di timur. Saya hanya sempat meihat capal yang
oleh orang itu, bentuk capal yang anih serta unik. Saya turutkan suruhan
orang tadi, memang terbukti berkesan. Kemudian kami mengikuti
lain menuju cahaya itu diketuai oleh orang berjubah tadi.

Sedar saya dari tidur, saya dapati tilam saya dibasahi peluh, dan ibu
mengatakan nafas saya terhenti henti, kemudian laju, kemudian
terhenti-henti sewaktu saya tidur. Tapi, saya tidak lagi demam, dan
saya tidak pening lagi, terus sihat walaupun tidak bermaya. Mimpi itu
bermain di fikiran saya, dan bentuk capal yang unik tu sentiasa berada
difikiran. Saya selalu amalkan ayat-ayat tersebut, dan dengan izin
banyak yang dapat saya bantu. Satu hari, saya ternampak gambar didalam
majalah, bentuk capal yang unik yang dipakai orang berjubah didalam
saya. Capal tersebut dikatakan kepunyaan RasulAllah. Untuk mendapat
kepastian, saya bertanyakan Ustadz Abdullah yang mengajar saya sewaktu
Katanya, sekiranya mimpi yang dibacakan didalamnya ayat-ayat AlQuran,
benar, lebih-lebih lagi mimpi berjumpa RasulAllah, kerana syaitan tidak
mungkin dapat menyerupai RasulAllah. Beliau kemudaian memeluk saya, dan
berkata,"Awak amat beruntung, dapat mimpi berjumpa RasulAllah, kerana
hemat saya mimpi awak adalah benar. Ikutilah pesan RasulAllah, dan
ayat-ayat itu kepada yang lain".

Tuan-tuan, saudara dan saudari, saya meminta supaya sampaikan pesan ini
kepada yang lain. Bacalah Surah Al-Fatihah dari Bismillah sehingga Amin,
serta Surah Al-Ikhlas (Tauhid, atau Qul Hu-Allah huAhad) keatas air dan
berikan minum serta sapu kebahagian yang sakit dengan niat untuk
dan mengurangkan sakit bagi sesiapa sahaja, kerana Allah Ta'ala. Itulah
pesanan RasulAllah, dan saya telah menyampaikan. InsyaAllah, diberkati
Allah niat yang baik serta bantuan tuan-tuan. Tolong sampaikan dan
kepada yang lain, dan jangan minta bayaran dari pertolongan tuan-tuan.

Mohammad Farid A. Hamid

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